IN MY EYES
By Edward B. Antonio
Very few people can make everybody laugh.
Except, of course, the late Dolphy, Panchito and Babalu.
When I was in college, I happened to have a professor who was so funny, we always begged him to give more funny jokes and punch lines. Our class was the only noisy room in a line of 6 classrooms and the other professors would often complain we were too noisy that we disturbed their classes.
Of course, we did not mind.
Funny people usually have many friends.
Funny teachers are well-loved by their students.
Laughter, they say, is the best medicine, fellas. I agree. Laughter gives us longer life and better health.
Here are some funny stories to make us laugh and live longer fellas. Stephen sends them for all of us to enjoy:
The child and his mother:
A curious child asked his mother: “Mommy, why are some of your hairs turning grey?”
The mother tried to use this occasion to teach her child: “It is because of you, dear. Every bad action of yours will turn one of my hairs grey!”
The child replied innocently: “Now I know why grandmother has only grey hairs on her head.”
Wrong email address:
A couple were going on a vacation but the man’s wife was on a business trip so he went to the destination first and his wife would meet him the next day.
When he reached his hotel, he decided to send his wife a quick e-mail.
Unfortunately, when typing her address, he mistyped a letter and his note was directed instead to an elderly preacher’s wife whose husband had passed away only the day before.
When the grieving widow checked her email, she took one look at the monitor, let out a piercing scream and fell to the floor in a dead faint.
At the sound, her family rushed into the room and saw this note on the screen:
Just got checked in. Everything prepared for your arrival tomorrow.
P.S. Sure is hot down here.
Will’s experience at the airport:
After his return from Rome, Will couldn’t find his luggage in the airport baggage area. He went to the lost luggage office and told the woman there that his bags hadn’t shown up on the carousel.
She smiled and told him not to worry because they were trained professionals and he was in good hands.
Then she asked Will, “Has your plane arrived yet?”
A police officer found a perfect hiding place for watching for speeding motorists.
One day, the officer was amazed when everyone was under the speed limit, so he investigated and found the problem.
A 10-year- old boy was standing on the side of the road with a huge hand painted sign which said “Radar Trap Ahead.”
A little more investigative work led the officer to the boy’s accomplice: another boy about 100 yards beyond the radar trap with a sign reading “TIPS” and a bucket at his feet full of change.
A professor was traveling by boat. On his way he asked the sailor:
“Do you know Biology, Ecology, Zoology, Geography, physiology?
The sailor said no to all his questions.
Professor: What the hell do you know on earth. You will die of illiteracy.
After a while the boat started sinking. The sailor asked the professor, can you differentiate swiminology & escapology from sharkology?
The professor said no.
Sailor: “Well, sharkology & crocodilogy will eat your assology, headology & you will dieology because of your mouthology.
A navy captain is alerted by his First Mate that there is a pirate ship coming towards his position. He asks a sailor to get him his red shirt.
The captain was asked, “Why do you need a red shirt?”
The Captain replies, “So that when I bleed, you guys don’t notice and aren’t discouraged.” They fight off the pirates eventually.
The very next day, the Captain is alerted that 50 pirate ships are coming towards their boat. He yells, “Get me my brown pants!”
The class teacher asks students to name an animal that begins with an “E”. One boy says, “Elephant.”
Then the teacher asks for an animal that begins with a “T”. The same boy says, “Two elephants.”
The teacher sends the boy out of the class for bad behavior. After that, she asks for an animal beginning with “M”.
The boy who was sent out shouts from the other side of the wall: “Maybe an elephant!
Ha! Ha! Ha!