imyeyes-banner-sqIn My EyesBy Edward B. Antonio

Punchy lines

IN MY EYES

By Edward B. Antonio

Filipinos are fond of telling stories with punch lines at the end of the narrative. This makes Juan de la Cruz laugh. Being too serious in our everyday life stresses people no end and that adds fine lines to their faces.

And so, once in a while, we adopt stories with punchy lines, fellas:

A doctor, a lawyer, a little boy and a priest were out for a Sunday afternoon flight on a small private plane.

Suddenly, the plane developed engine trouble. In spite of the best efforts of the pilot, the plane started to go down.

Finally, the pilot grabbed a parachute and yelled to the passengers that they better jump, and he himself bailed out.

Unfortunately, there were only three parachutes remaining.

The doctor grabbed one and said “I’m a doctor, I save lives, so I must live,” and jumped out.

The lawyer then said, “I’m a lawyer and lawyers are the smartest people in the world. I deserve to live.”

He also grabbed a parachute and jumped.

The priest looked at the little boy and said, “My son, I’ve lived a long and full life. You are young and have your whole life ahead of you. Take the last parachute and live in peace.”

The little boy handed the parachute back to the priest and said, “Not to worry Father. The smartest man in the world just took off with my back pack.”

There goes the punch line, fellas.

Then, there’s this story of the two camels.

A mother and a baby camel were lying around, and suddenly the baby camel asked, “Mother, may I ask you some questions?

Mother said, “Sure! Why son, is there something bothering you?

Baby said, “Why do camels have humps?”

Mother said “Well son, we are desert animals, we need the humps to store water and we are known to survive without water.”

Baby said, “Okay, then why are our legs long and our feet rounded?”

Mother said, “Son, obviously they are meant for walking in the desert. You know with these legs I can move around the desert better than anyone does!”

Baby said, “Okay, then why are our eyelashes long? Sometimes it bothers my sight.”

Mother with pride said, “My son, those long thick eyelashes are your protective cover. They help to protect your eyes from the desert sand and wind”.

Baby after thinking said, “I see. So the hump is to store water when we are in the desert, the legs are for walking through the desert and these eye lashes protect my eyes from the desert. Then what in God’s name are we doing here in the ZOO!?”

That’s punchline number 2, fellas.

And now for the final coup de grace:

A man is getting into the shower just as his young, pretty wife is finishing up her shower when the doorbell rings.

The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs.

When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next door neighbor.

Before she says a word, Bob says, “I’ll give you $800 to drop that towel.”

After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob.

After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 dollars and leaves.

The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs.

When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, “Who was that?”

It was Bob the next door neighbor,” she replies.

Great!” the husband says, “Did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?”

Moral of the story:

If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.