Tawid News Magazine

‘Sharkology, crocodilogy and mouthology!’

This pandemic has been worrying us a lot, fellas.

In fact, stress is the name of the game especially with our frontliners: doctors, nurses and health workers. They all need to see, hear or read something that would make them smile.

We may not be of the class of Dolphy, Panchito and Babalu but surely we can share some funny lines which we learned from all over.

  When I was in college, I happened to have a professor who was so funny, we always begged him to give more funny jokes and punch lines whenever we attended his class. Because of his funny stories, our class was the only noisy room in a line of 6 classrooms and the other professors would often complain we were too noisy that we disturbed their classes.

Of course, we did not mind.

Funny teachers are well-loved by their students no matter what.

Funny people usually have many friends.

Laughter, they say, is the best medicine, fellas.

I agree.

Laughter gives us longer life and better health, even in this time of pandemic.

Here are some things for all of us, especially our frontliners, to smile about.

It’s joke, errr… laughter time, fellas!

The three puppies:

My neighbor’s dog bore three female puppies at the height of our Extreme Community Quarantine last April. As the family was coining names for the triplets, the mother said: “We will name them Quarantina, Corona and… and…”

From the adjacent comfort room came the booming voice of her 6-year old child: “Covida!”

And so the three puppies were named Quarantina, Corona and Covida!

The child and his mother:

A curious child asked his mother: “Mommy, why are some of your hairs turning grey?”

The mother tried to use this occasion to teach her child: “It is because of you, dear. Every bad action of yours will turn one of my hairs grey!”

The child replied innocently: “Now I know why grandmother has only grey hairs on her head.”

Wrong email address:

A couple were going on a vacation but the man’s wife was on a business trip so he went to the destination first and his wife would meet him the next day.

When he reached his hotel, he decided to send his wife a quick e-mail.

Unfortunately, when typing her address, he mistyped a letter and his note was directed instead to an elderly preacher’s wife whose husband had passed away only the day before.

When the grieving widow checked her email, she took one look at the monitor, let out a piercing scream and fell to the floor in a dead faint.

At the sound, her family rushed into the room and saw this note on the screen:

Dearest Wife: Just got checked in. Everything prepared for your arrival tomorrow.

P.S. Sure is hot down here.


A professor was traveling by boat. On his way he asked the sailor:

“Do you know Biology, Ecology, Zoology, Geography, physiology?

The sailor said no to all his questions.

Professor: What the hell do you know on earth? You will die of illiteracy.

After a while the boat started sinking. The Sailor asked the Professor, can you differentiate swiminology & escapology from sharkology?

The professor said no.

Sailor: “Well, sharkology & crocodilogy will eat your assology, headology & you will dieology because of your mouthology.

Juan’s experience at the airport:

After his return from Rome, Juan couldn’t find his luggage in the airport baggage area. He went to the lost luggage office and told the woman there that his bags hadn’t shown up on the carousel.

She smiled and told him not to worry because they were trained professionals and he was in good hands.

Then she asked Juan, “Has your plane arrived yet?”

Clever kids:

A police officer found a perfect hiding place for watching for speeding motorists.

One day, the officer was amazed when everyone was under the speed limit, so he investigated and found the problem.

 A 10-year- old boy was standing on the side of the road with a huge hand painted sign which said “BEWARE: Police officer ahead!

Not far away from him, his companion was holding a bucket marked “TIP please.”

The bucket was almost filled with coins.


The class teacher asks his pupils to name an animal that begins with an “E.”

One boy says, “Elephant.”

Then the teacher asks for an animal that begins with a “T”.

The same boy says, “Two elephants.”

The teacher sends the boy out of the class for bad behavior. After that, she asks for an animal beginning with “M”.

The boy who was sent out shouts from the other side of the wall: “Maybe an elephant!”

Ha! Ha! Ha!

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