In My Eyes: by Edward B. Antonio
If a man philanders, that’s an ordinary tale.
But if a woman takes on a man other than her husband, that’s a different story.
Consider this story, fellas.
Romeo works as a company executive and his wife, Edna, tenders their family business, a gift shop. Their business brings Edna to different places for the supplies and deliveries, even on weekends and Romeo, aware of his wife’s dedication to her job, sees this as a sign of good entrepreneurship.
One evening, while taking a break with his colleagues in an out-of-town meeting with a sister company, Romeo noticed his wife’s red Lancer parked near a bayview parking area. Out of curiosity, he parked at a safe distance an waited for his wife to get her car. It was already around 8:00PM when, to his shock, Edna emerged from a nearby hotel, cuddled by a middle-aged man. The two even engaged in a passionate kissing ceremony before boarding Edna’s car. He cautiously followed the two until they alighted in what seemed to be a videoke grill cottage.Furious and raging, Romeo alighted from his car, his .45 caliber pistol in his right hand. He silently approached the two, who were still cuddling and kissing each other, and demanded an explanation. The dumbfounded duo stood up, apparently to escape, but were fired upon. Both adulterous couple died on the spot.
The story of Romeo and Edna is a common story, fellas.
But what really drives a woman to commit such an act?
When they take their wedding vows, couples envision a lifetime of happiness together. But, in good times and bad, marriages can face trials and tribulations that may include adultery. The results of a 2014 survey, as published in the “Journal of Marital and Family Therapy,” revealed that in 41 percent of marriages, one or both spouses admitted to infidelity. And, spouses who have been married more than 10 years are most likely to commit adultery, according to, “Age, Gender and Adultery” in the British Journal of Sociology.
Shannon Philpott lists the following reasons why a woman is tempted to find another man, whether additional or for pleasure:
Poor Self-Esteem or Self-Image
Sneaking around can be exciting when a woman feels desired and wanted by another; however, according to Robert Weiss, founding director of the Sexual Recovery Institute, a poor self-image or low self-esteem may push a woman into the arms of another man.
When a woman doesn’t realize her true values in terms of her appearance or the attentiveness of her spouse, she may commit adultery to feel desirable, writes Weiss in the PsychCentral article, “Why Men and Women Cheat.”
When a married woman feels unappreciated, undervalued or unloved, she may seek attention from someone else. She is cheating to obtain emotional validation and to reassure herself that she is of value. According to Weiss, married woman usually seek this attention in social settings or in the workplace, and as a result, their behavior may lead to infidelity.
During courtship or even as newlyweds, it’s likely that the woman and her spouse promised each other a lifetime of happiness. However, as reality sets in and the stress of balancing work, finances and even children, these promises may have been shelved. Unrealistic expectations of what spouses should provide for each other and demands to meet emotional and physical needs can serve as a downfall in a marriage and even push a woman to commit adultery, says Weiss. Instead of establishing solid friendships and a family support system, a married woman with unrealistic expectations may seek companionship and intimacy with another.
Revenge and Retaliation
Whether a woman has experienced emotional neglect from her spouse or has suspicions that he is cheating, revenge and retaliation can be the deciding factor that pushes her to commit adultery. Even though the hurt may be misguided or even a result of misperception, a married woman may feel when she cheats on her spouse as if she has achieved justice and hurt her husband in the same manner as she was hurt. Ultimately, when a spouse has an affair, the long-term consequence could lead to separation or divorce if both parties are unwilling to mend the marriage.
While lust is a factor, most women cite at least one emotional consideration in their decision to have an affair.
Motivations can include:
A validation of her attractiveness, from someone other than her husband.
A desire to reclaim her sense of self, apart from her identity as wife or mother.
The emotional and chemical rush.
Not feeling appreciated
According to Michelle Langley, author of Women’s Infidelity, female unfaithfulness often follows a predictable pattern:
The woman pushes a man for commitment.
She gets what she wants.
She loses interest in sex.
She becomes attracted to someone else.
She starts cheating.
She becomes angry and resentful.
She tells her partner they need time apart.
She blames her partner for her behavior—and after making herself and everyone else miserable—ends the relationship.
Women may expend considerable energy trying to avoid sex with their husbands and may feel “violated” by their husband’s touch. At the same time, they may fear their sexual disinterest will cause their husband to cheat—or leave. Women in this phase may become unexpectedly attracted to other, often more dominant men. As her desire grows, the woman often feels ashamed. She may try to ease her guilt by being extra attentive to her husband.
Eventually, she will blame her feelings on unmet needs in the marriage or defects in her husband. Women at this point often become negative or sarcastic toward their husbands … and extramarital affairs often follow.
Do you find your woman like this, fellas?
Then, find time to mend things.
Or break even.#